The Sight to See? Bond, James Bond.

One of the most dangerous aspects of travelling, particularly of travelling to a 3^rd world country, is the food. I don’t mean that the food will be bad or that you won’t find things to eat – if you keep an open mind and open stomach then you are sure to find things you enjoy. Rather, I mean that you must beware that most dangerous malady that befalls every traveler at least once – food poisoning. It’s never an enjoyable experience, but it’s somehow infinitely worse when you’re stranded thousands of miles from home and Western plumbing on a separate continent. So far in my trip I had managed to forego this unpleasant upset, mainly by using common sense and taking reasonable care when buying and eating food. Here are some good tips to follow when travelling to aid in avoiding the more suspect food options:

1. Don’t Go Cheap – cheap food is the enemy when you’re travelling. It is very easy to get through a day in SE Asia spending only about $2 on your food, but this will invariably lead to some quality time spent with your commode. If you’re dining out, be smart and spend a little more –the extra money is ensuring that your food is cooked immediately and only fresh ingredients (that have been properly refrigerated) are used.

2. Watch Them Cook Your Food – if you are eating at any establishment other than a sit down restaurant, watch them cook your food. You will be crowned “King of the Can” later if you don’t. If you’re buying food from a small hole-in-the-wall establishment and your food just magically appears from a back room, it is probably suspect and you should move on. More than likely, the meat is quite old and has never seen even the most rudimentary cold storage system. Watching the cook prepare your exact food ensures that you know what is going into it, you know it was cooked immediately, and you know if anything looks a little off.

3. Avoid Too Many Uncooked Vegetables – this advice might seem contrary to popular opinion, after all, the freshest food and thus most trustworthy food are fresh veggies, but when you’re in a foreign land where you can’t drink the water and even brushing your teeth with the tap water can lead to intestinal issues, it’s not a good idea to eat raw, uncooked vegetables that have been rinsed in said water. Cooking kills the bacteria the water has transferred to your veggies. One of the worst things you can do in SE Asia is order a salad.

4. Follow the Crowd – it’s always a good idea to eat where others are eating. If a restaurant has a large crowd, particularly a large crowd of locals, there are good odds the food is tasty and it won’t give you problems later. So don’t be afraid to wait a few minutes to get your order in if there is a crowd – that is a good sign. An empty restaurant is a recipe for disaster.

5. Reconsider the Beef – actually, reconsider almost all meats. I know I’ve already warned you of vegetables, but now it’s time to consider meat the enemy too. Meat has the unfortunate tendency to spoil easily without refrigeration and in countries where electrical power either doesn’t exist or has the tendency to be unavailable for long stretches of time, this presents problems when you are talking about meat storage. Eating meat in a large city is probably safer than a small city or town, but caution is always advisable. Also, NEVER eat seafood in a landlocked country – that’s just asking for trouble.

These are just some of the basic tips I followed while traversing my way through SE Asia and although I fared fairly well, there were still some minor issues that it would be unseemly to go into too much detail over. Leave it to say that I managed until that first day in Phuket. Upon our arrival the night before in Phuket, Zenia and I ate pad see ew at a boardwalk restaurant in downtown Patong Bay where we were staying. Well, the next morning, Zenia and I awoke long before we needed to for sightseeing trip via boat around the islands surrounding Phuket and began the dance of travelling roommates – swapping places in the bathroom every few minutes as our pad see ew caused some unfortunate consequences. Luckily, I had followed Rule #5 and avoided most of the meat in my pad see ew, which I am absolutely certain caused our unfortunate discomfort so I did not suffer too badly, but Zenia was not so lucky. Before our Phuket trip had even really begun it was off to a bad start. We had our tickets and were ready to go enjoy the islands, but it was going to be problematic trying to get more than 20 feet from our bathroom. Thank goodness I had gotten some medication for just this situation before leaving the U.S. Zenia and I each popped a couple of pills and within no time were feeling well enough to get to the docks for our day of adventure. It just goes to show that when travelling, nothing can replace good common sense and a well stocked emergency kit.

We took a red truck (yes, the time of the tuk tuk was over and red trucks were back) to the docks where we were scheduled to meet our tour boat. The inauspicious trend of the morning continued as it was raining quite heavily when we arrived for our boat tour, but as that was the norm and something we had grown quite accustomed to in Laos, we remained relatively unphased and were excited to have made it even this far (it’s amazing how stomach problems can put everything in perspective). Our boat was a double-decker pink and green monstrosity that could easily fit around 50 people if you didn’t mind sitting quite close together and soon we were all jammed in like sardines and ready to set sail.

Our tour began as we pulled out of Patong Bay and our boat guide gave us some basic information concerning Phuket and the islands we were to see throughout the day. The sky was a steely gray color, filled with dark clouds, allowing no sunshine to poke through. However, the air was steamy and warm and the water was incredible. A beautiful blue-green color, it looked warm and inviting, just waiting for us to stop for a swim. But today, we were travelling around the islands.

We sped around the islands for some time in the morning. There are thousands of islands off the southern coast of Thailand, some large enough to support communities and towns and some only 15-20 feet across. The most amazing feature of these tiny specks of land was their shape. Each small island rose high out of the sea, often taller than they were wide. Water had slowly eaten away at the base of these islands so that they somewhat resembled mushrooms – the islands arose out of the sea, then flared outward in a rocky, craggy mass, until reaching a large horizontal shelf (the cap of the mushroom) that sometimes extended 20-30 feet out over the water, and then rose high into the air in a dome. The dome of the islands were covered with vegetation, large shrubs and trees, so thick it was clear no one had been on these islands for years, if ever, and it was doubtful they could be scaled in any case – likely anyone trying would be swallowed whole by the plants and would never be seen again.

The larger islands were dominated by trees and forests as well and sported craggy faces and sheer cliffs. Our boat slowed at one such island and our guide pointed out a small, horizontal opening at sea level at the base of a cliff. We were told that we would stop here and would enter inflatable kayaks – two per kayak plus a guide to paddle – and would go into the caves below the island. Some caves were big enough for larger boats, but many could only be accessed at mid to low tide on a smaller craft and still required quite a bit of head bending and care.  Zenia and I quickly claimed a kayak as our own and we were off to explore the dark underworld of the caves of Thailand.

The caves were amazing to see. Although not filled with some of the geological wonders of the caverns in California (my bias showing, perhaps), these were beautiful in their own right. It was easy to see the high water mark inside the caves, often near the ceiling, as a white line delineated on the rocks. Huge boulders hung from the ceiling, forcing us to duck this way and that in efforts to avoid them. Enormous rooms could be found further into the caves, filled along the roofline with bats. Toward the ends of the caves, the rooms were so small we were forced to lie flat in the bottoms of our kayaks to avoid the low hanging ceilings. It felt incredible to be exploring these caves, but also a trifle intimidating. It was impossible to forget that you were floating beneath an entire island and it was all too easy to imagine the island crashing down on your head as it finally gave in and fell into the sea. This in no way dimmed the beauty of the sights, but it did add a sense of danger and urgency to our trip. All too soon we headed back outside. The mouth of the caves began as a mere pinprick of light that quickly grew larger as we approached and after so much time in the dark (but probably only 15 minutes actually), the light seemed incredibly bright, even on such a cloudy day.

We remained in the kayaks and began to paddle around the island, into a beautiful grove of trees, lush vegetation, and vines that nearly met the water – clearly this island had not eroded quite so much at the base. After some time looking around at the beauty of the island, we returned to the boat for our next adventure.

We stopped at another island for more kayaking fun. This new island was broken into pieces, allowing the kayaks to travel under huge craggy stone archways and into the heart of the island. Trees seemed to grow out of the stone itself, needing no soil to prosper here. The islands were beautiful and we all spent some time just enjoying the day and being out on the water. At this point it became clear that the persistent cloud cover was a blessing. The day was managing to stay reasonably comfortable, never unbearably hot as it might have been in full sunlight. After we finished with that island, we were off to the main event of the day – James Bond Island.

James Bond movies are, of course, classics, but it would perhaps take a real connoisseur of the films to recognize the James Bond Island without someone telling them of its history. Luckily, I just happen to be a connoisseur of all things James Bond and even without the guide’s information was able to pinpoint the exact island where the final showdown of Roger Moore’s “The Man with the Golden Gun” was filmed. I’m not sure if there is anything particularly special or remarkable about this particular island other than its now famous pedigree thanks to that superspy, but it is now a destination location for tourists in Phuket. The island from which you view the tall, yet thin rock rising out of the sea is fairly inhospitable beyond the beach immediately facing James Bond Island. The beach also boasts a crack in the rock face along one side, which is absolutely sheer and nearly smooth as if someone had taken a knife and cut into the rock, slicing a chunk out of the rock face.

After taking dozens of pictures in front of James Bond Island, we returned to the boat, and began our return journey to Phuket. A van took us from the docks to our hotel where Zenia and I took full advantage of the amenities (aka our bathroom) and got ready for our evening out in Phuket.

For the first time during our 3 months in SE Asia we truly felt as if we could dress up for the evening. Always in SE Asia you are aware of the overwhelming heat and humidity. There is no point in putting on makeup as it will soon melt away and wearing nice clothes is a mistake as SE Asia has a tendency to ruin anything you wear. But that night Zenia and I had something special planned and decided to go all out. We took extravagantly long showers (7 minutes each), put on our best dresses (purchased in Cambodia), cute sandals (Vietnam), and actually straightened our hair and threw on some eye shadow. It felt incredible – perhaps the closest to clean and normal I had felt in 3 months.

That night Zenia and I were going to a show called Simon Cabaret. The show was a transvestite (or lady-boy, as they are called in SE Asia) cabaret show featuring exotic costumes and popular songs. It was an absolute blast. Of course my hair began to curl and my makeup began to come off as soon as we stepped out of our air conditioned room, but it was worth it to have such fun and to feel almost normal for even a few hours. The show was hilarious and actually quite good and after we went outside and were able to meet all the stars as they stood around in costumes (sequined gowns and large head-dresses). Following the show we took a red truck downtown and walked along the beach again, but soon headed back to our guesthouse for the evening as we had another day of sightseeing planned for the next day, requiring another early start.